30 Comments
Jun 15Liked by Dave Infante

would fully try the cicada Malört. what about the one where you take a shot with a mummified toe?

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2019/11/01/sourtoe-cocktail-drink-human-toe-served-yukon-canada/4081899002/

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I would probably yield to peer pressure and rip the cicada Malört. I am confident I would not drink the human-toe cocktail.

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Jun 16Liked by Dave Infante

If i found myself in Dawson City, i'd proly have to do it.

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author

No Kaptain Krunk! You don't have to do this! You have friends and fellow posters who love you!

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

We can't forget whey spirits in the US. I'm a cidermaker in the Finger Lakes region, and I met a distiller from a large local distillery who was cranking out whey neutral spirits. In the hierarchy of cheap booze, it apparently sits below grain neutral spirits and above citrus neutral spirits. These form the base for many sweet bad ideas to be found in the liquor store.

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HOW COULD WE FORGET ABOUT WHEY SPIRITS?! Haha I've even written about them before (er, the article was mostly about whey hard seltzers, but I mentioned the vodkas and such): https://vinepair.com/articles/dairy-based-alcohol/

But would you drink the cicada Malört? ANSWER THE QUESTION MAY I REMIND YOU YOU'RE UNDER OATH

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

Absolutely, but I would need a chaser to wash down the bug!

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Unfortunately I think your chaser is just more Malört, dude.

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

bloody contractual obligations, eh?

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You could chase it with Malört seltzer, if that would make you feel better? https://www.theliquorbarn.com/marz-malort-spritz-4pk/

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Jun 18Liked by Dave Infante

all things considered i should probably ease my way into it by *starting* with that seltzer

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Jun 15Liked by Dave Infante

Passing on the Bug Malort until it’s served to me with some kind of exotic fat wash!. #OnTrend

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"She thicc" — me, right before trying to shoot, and immediately vomiting, the cicada Malört

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Jun 15Liked by Dave Infante

Tbh, I half-expect there to be a dead locust in my shot of Malort anyway. It ain't the bug that's the problem in that equation.

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An excellent point. Jeppson's got the memo about accessible, familiar flavors and filed that one straight to the garbage.

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Jun 15Liked by Dave Infante

The interesting thing is there are few cicadas in Chicago proper. I live in the same neighborhood as Malört infusion specialists Nisei Lounge and have seen literally one cicada so far (dead on the pavement). Block Club Chicago has the details but they're mostly confined to the far northwest of the city. So this is mostly a suburban Chicago thing, which, you know, doesn't really count ... but I still would have it for the novelty of it, surely it can't make it any worse. (I do appreciate getting the proper wordage for that down.)

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Ooooooh, talk yo shit about suburban Chicago! Yeah, I mean, this is obviously a gimmick, but I respect your non-gimmicky evaluation. My biggest objection is basic disease/food safety stuff, which I realize makes me sound like a weiner, but... I dunno man, they're fucking bugs from the ground, man! They've been marinating down there for a decade an a half! Does liquor neutralize that kind of pathogen?

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Jun 16Liked by Dave Infante

Eater reports they are "frozen, rinsed, sterilized, and cooked before they’re submerged in a bottle of Malört", so it's not like they're just grabbing the nearest one and drowning it in the shot glass, which helps? https://chicago.eater.com/2024/5/28/24166241/cicadas-malort-noon-whistle-brewing-eating-insects-chicago-illinois-entomophagy

I haven't eaten any cicadas otherwise but apparently they're close in taste (and allergies) to shellfish like shrimp and lobster, and high in protein too. Most Malört cocktails I know of (try the Hard Sell!) usually mask the flavor with grapefruit or other super-sweet ingredients, so I'm not sure how the bug-booze combo works. Then again, it only comes around every 17 years ...

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I haven't eaten any cicadas, but I have eaten some crickets, and I definitely wouldn't describe them as similar to shellfish. There's no like... "meat," per se. It's just crunch. But I suppose cicadas are larger bugs.

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

Larder Delicatessen and Bakery in Cleveland makes a Cicada XO sauce that they sell in little jars, only when they are in season locally.

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Is it... like... good?

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

I've eaten a scorpion with nothing to wash it down, so, yes. Would.

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

Also, If they couldn't get Jack Black to endorse then why even bother.

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Yeah so I made an error there—it's Jim Beam, not Jack Daniels, that intro'd the new black label redesign. I made a correction on Friday about it shortly after sending out the email, thanks to a note from an eagle-eyed reader. Sorry for the confusion!

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What was that like? Just kinda crunchy? Or more to it than that?

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Jun 21Liked by Dave Infante

They were fried like a chicharrón or pork rind which was good because I did not want the squishy insides burtsing out like some sort of ravioli/scorpellini. You could eat them raw but no one else was up for that.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/Gyf5jPUkCdu7czye9

https://photos.app.goo.gl/FJvHvkZgECGBSpHj8

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Yeah got it. So there's no like... "meat" in them, in other words? That sounds somewhat like the chapulines I ate in Oaxaca. Kinda just taste like whatever they're flavored with, in my (extremely limited) experience: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapulines

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Jun 14Liked by Dave Infante

on the animal-based front, i'd heard of fermented yak's milk as a central-ish-Asia thing, but nothing firsthand.

on cicada-infusion, no more uninformed dares for this cat. first i gotta know what at any point ends up between their mouth-equivalent and their cloaca or whatever, and what's done with the bodies between life and soaking-in-it. do they keep the legs/heads/_____ out of the formula because they're not bitter enough?

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Yeah I think that's known as kumis, which I know because after posting my hard milk blog on Twitter, all the unfunniest people on the platform well-actually'd me about it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kumis

https://www.fingers.email/p/heres-an-idea-hard-milk

Smart of you to ponder the cloaca situation. I'm absolutely intrigued at what the "_____" stands for here.

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oh, that was just a "what-have-you" because i don't know too much about insect anatomy. i mean i wasn't censoring a naughty bit! cloacas are naughty enough in my book any day.

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