Analyzing the latest Johnny-come-late-tea
Plus: The dream of discovery in Diddy v. Diageo is dead!
Editor’s note: Welcome to The Fingers Weekender, a Sunday digest exclusively for paying Friends of Fingers featuring the independent journalism about drinking in America you love, optimized for hungover scrolling. If someone forwarded this to you, buy a subscription to get next Sunday’s edition straight in your inbox.—Dave.
🍺 BEER
Where the hell are all the hop waters? Halfway through Dry January, I published a grievance blog at VinePair about the still-vexingly limited market for non-alcoholic hop water, which have the potential to bolster craft breweries’ beleaguered bottom lines and help them win desperately needed new drinkers and “occasions.” Also, I personally find them to be a delicious alternative to seltzer, and what’s the point of having a weekly column if you can’t occasionally complain about stuff that mildly frustrates you?
Somehow, the craft brewing industry still hasn’t found a winning Dry January strategy. I swear we didn’t coordinate this as a one-two punch, but this week at Good Beer Hunting, Kate Bernot reported on the muddled, occasionally antagonistic approach America’s small, independent brewers take to this annual rite of abstinence. Shaming people into drinking when they don’t want to isn’t only a losing commercial strategy, it’s also unethical and corny! Instead—say it with me—make hop water!
Tilray Brands’ first big comeback move for Shock Top is Lit. Not “lit,” like how millennials nervously describe a happy hour to zoomer coworkers. No, “Lit” is literally the name of the hard tea line extension that the cannabis conglomerate plans to roll out this year under the banner of Anheuser-Busch InBev’s Blue Moon killer that wasn’t, which the latter company sold off last year in a yard sale of failure last summer. Love Tilray’s ambition, but this feels like a trend-chasing overextension on an ailing Shock Top brand that needs disciplined rehab. Also, the name makes Molson Coors’ pander-brand Happy Thursday look positively hip by comparison. Also-also I’m writing this on my way back from a conference where one of the sharpest buyers in the beverage-alcohol business, Whole Foods’ Mary Guiver, expressed considerable skepticism about Johnny-come-late-teas’ potential to win share from segment titan Twisted Tea. Hmm.