Don't name your RTD brand for nuking someone's home

Editor’s note: This column was originally published on April 19th, 2024 back when Fingers was much smaller. Following the news Monday that Molson Coors will acquire gas-station stalwart Atomic Brands, I thought it would be a good time to revisit the latter firm’s dismal nuclear-bomb-themed RTD brand, Bikini Island Cocktail Co. The piece below has been lightly edited for length and clarity.—Dave.

“Booze brand does outrageous thing for press coverage” is not usually newsworthy. Today, I’m making an exception, because a mid-market beverage-alcohol player just released a canned cocktail brand that elides decades of human suffering with Endless Summer-meets-nuclear winter kitsch, and that calls for a closer look.

Introduced by Atomic Brands (which also owns Monaco Cocktails, a popular-in-gas stations line of single-serve mixed drinks) earlier this month, this spirits-based canned cocktail line is “[i]nspired by the historical events at Bikini Island in the [sic] 1940's and 50's that led the world into the atomic and nuclear era,” according to a press release. “Party like it’s the end of the world!” the brand’s slogan urges.

It’s corny stuff, trying to profit off the aesthetics of America’s nascent rise to nuclear superpower without grappling with the material destruction underneath. It doesn’t even seem like Atomic has the energy to pretend there’s any more to it, either. At publication, Bikini Island’s official Instagram handle had zero photos and 11 followers, and Fingers is one of them. Initially, that led me to believe this was just a belated April Fool’s joke. However, Carolina Calandriello, Atomic Brands’ marketing & innovation director, confirmed to Fingers via email that it was “a legit product launch!”

Folks from the Marshall Islands (of which Bikini Island and Bikini Atoll are a part) are less enthusiastic.

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