Fuck it: 14 year-old bartenders

Plus: Fingers in your ears!

Consider the Postal Service. What do they need all our addresses for?! It’s a fair question, if you are an arch-conservative crank like the late, not-great Joe Coors, Sr. In 1963, when the USPS rolled out the zip code system, the beer magnate reportedly viewed it as a “truly nefarious plot” by Uncle Sam to “keep tabs on citizens’ lawful business.” According to Citizen Coors, Dan Baum’s fantastic 2001 book on the family and its eponymous firm, Coors, a longtime bankroller of the American right wing, prohibited the Colorado brewery’s secretarial pool from using zip codes for years thereafter.

That was 60 years ago. Today, Joe Coors is dead, and the modern conservative movement he funded with millions of dollars’ worth of beer money has metastasized into an almost unrecognizably freakish parody of its predecessors’ feigned-respectability. Yet the USPS remains a reliable target for the country’s right-wing hacks. So their objections to the new push in Congress to allow postal workers to deliver booze isn’t exactly surprising. But is is really funny, given that a common basis for those objections is that it’d increase underage drinking in the future. After all, GOP statehouses across the country are rewriting labor laws so more underage kids can serve drinks right now.