The kids ARE / ARE NOT alright [choose one]

Plus: A descent into Malört-based madness!

At the risk of turning Fingers into a data-driven dorkfest, *Stephen A. Smith voice* I want to ADDRESS something. Yesterday, a bunch of you forwarded me an Axios’ email noting that “young adults [are] sour[ing] on booze.” It was pegged to a follow-up Gallup poll showing that nearly 20% more 18-34 year-olds view even moderate drinking as detrimental to health in 2023 than they did just half a decade earlier. Obviously, that complicates my claim earlier this week that Gallup’s main poll, (released Monday) showed that the “alleged sober-curiosity of younger millennial and Gen Z drinkers” was overblown.

As a petty but sometimes-self-respecting journalist, I simply refuse to be owned by the Smart Brevity brigade. So I fired up Fingers HQ’s TakeMaster 3000, loaded in this latest batch of survey data, and patiently waited for a viable reconciliation of Fingers’ Wednesday newsletter and Gallup’s Thursday data-drop to reveal itself.

I think I found one. Eat your heart out, Mike Allen!