In digital media’s sorta-halcyon, venture-capital-fueled heyday last decade, there was a popular Twitter account called “The Times Is On It” that dedicated itself to documenting all the things—popular neighborhoods, emerging cultural trends, relationship norms among The Youths, whatever—that the The New York Times only seemed to get around to noticing after smaller, hipper, and invariably poorer publications had already thoroughly covered. Red Hook? Wedding hashtags? Bras as shirts? The Times Is On It! You get the idea. Sadly, @NYTOnIt appears to have gone dormant in October 2022, capping off an 11-year run of marking the Gray Lady tardy to various parties. But in its absence, Fingers is proud to log a guest entry in the “On It” Annals. Public-health concerns over alcopops that share branding with popular non-alcoholic beverages? The Times, dear reader, is On It.

To wit: