Thirst-trapping for rubes

It's the first-ever Fingers Right-Wing Thirst-Trap Gold Rush™️!

I’m extremely tired of writing about the conservative outrage over Bud Light’s promo earlier this month with a trans influencer, and I assume you’re tired of reading about it, too. But it’s still unfolding in newsworthy—and of course, deeply stupid—ways. So today, I’m going to take a break from the dangerous slop of anti-trans rhetoric, antisemitism, and misogyny in which right-wing media figures, politicians, and rank-and-file conservatives have been zealously wallowing for the past couple weeks, and look at a slightly more amusing, incredibly predictable aspect of this situation.

I’m talking, of course, about the right-wing grifters who are falling over themselves to launch “conservative” alcoholic alternatives to Bud Light to sell to thirsty rubes red-assed and ready to spend. [sickos.jpg voice] Yes! YES! Hustling family-values dimwits blinded by bigotry is a long and storied pastime on the American right. As historian and chronicler of the conservative movement once wrote of the G.O.P.’s voter rolls-to-direct mail scam pipeline, “Subscriber lists to ideological organs are pure gold to the third-party interests who rent them as catchments for potential customers.”

Thanks to social media, subscribers are now online and eminently more pitchable, and “ideological organs” now include mediocre white guys with podcast mics and dogmatic obsessions with other people’s genitals. Neat! Combined with the convenience of modern e-commerce, the relative ease of producing commodity plonk on contract, and the fact that this outrage is about alcohol, and… ah… here we are, I guess.

Leading the pack in Fingers’ inaugural Right-Wing Thirst-Trap Gold Rush™️ (RWTTGR™️):