It is one of the universe’s great mysteries that there can be no good way, and yet many bad ways, to lay someone off. One bad way to do it is to put out a press release so larded with gibberish that the layoffs seem like an afterthought, which is what Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits—a mega-wholesaler soon to be known as Southern Glazer’s Beverage Company, but NOT YET, ALRIGHT?!—did earlier this week. Some 300 words after the firm explained that it…
is continually refining its commercial sales approach to reflect changes in the independent customer landscape and evolving preferences for how customers engage
…it got around to mentioning that it “expect[s] these efforts to result in a net reduction of approximately one percent of our U.S. workforce.” That works out to around 240 workers tossed out on their asses. Sorry, sorry: refined out on their asses.
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