"Daycaps"

A tried and true method to earn Buzzwords of The Week recognition is inventing new and more irritating words for simple concepts we already had language to describe. For example, fast-food execs use the neologism “dayparts” in place of more familiar terms like “morning” and “afternoon,” because they are depraved perverts. We will never call McDonald’s a “quick-service restaurant,” you absolute freaks! Ahem. The latest rhetorical frippery in the booze industry’s never-ending quest to create new “occasions” for drinking, is the “daycap.” As a publicist recently informed me:

Like nightcaps, but during the day. Do you see? Of course you do. Most people call these “day drinks,” or, if you’re going through a rough stretch, just “drinks.” Getting loaded in a dark bar, or wine-drunk on a beach, or a little loose at a happy hour while the sun is still high in the sky can be dignified, if you know what you’re doing. But if you know what you’re doing, you will never, ever let corporate coinage like “daycap” pass your lips. Do not try to rebrand life’s simply pleasures, you absolute freaks! Ahem.

If you see beverage-alcohol corporatespeak in the wild that deserves to be the next Fingers Buzzword, submit it for consideration to [email protected]. All submissions anonymous!