Bribes: they’re illegal. Unless the President of The United States does them? Hmm. Anyway, they’re certainly illegal in the booze business, which is why for the past few years various federal law-enforcement agencies have been investigating Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits over allegations of a truly cartoonish graft in California. It was a real treat to evidence of the liquor trade’s rampant backroom palm-greasing laid out in the cold light of day, but now the jig is up. Yesterday, the Department of Justice issued a press release announcing that SGWS had agreed to cough up a mere $12.5 million, and “admitted to and acknowledged responsibility admitted to and acknowledged responsibility for the acts of individuals employed by the company.” Acts, you say? What kind of acts? Oh, you know, just some
improper payments and benefits to various alcohol retailer employees.
Bribes! Those were bribes, my guys! And by high-level executives, too! As Fingers noted at the time, the payola included “rental fees on a Bentley, a Panerai, and a fucking all-expenses-paid golf retreat to Pebble Beach” and six-figures in cash payments concealed via prepaid gift cards and falsified invoices. If you’re gonna let SGWS go with a slap in the wrist, at least have some fun with it!
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