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Don't rain-make 50 Cent

Sep 24, 2023

•

11 min read

Don't rain-make 50 Cent

Plus: Yellowstoning the Pappy-plus-crappy ranks!

The boozeletter that lived

Sep 22, 2023

•

11 min read

The boozeletter that lived

Plus: Before Jerome Powell super-nuked the working class!

America's Margaritavillians (derogatory?)
LockSimple

Sep 20, 2023

•

7 min read

America's Margaritavillians (derogatory?)

Plus: “Check the Forbes list for a reference, bud”

People aren’t *that* sober-curious, man
LockSimple

Sep 17, 2023

•

8 min read

People aren’t *that* sober-curious, man

Plus: The Patrónization of mezcal!

What else are his "magic seeds" in?
LockSimple

Sep 14, 2023

•

12 min read

What else are his "magic seeds" in?

Plus: A controlled-substance showdown for our age!

Damn, there goes my shot
LockSimple

Sep 10, 2023

•

11 min read

Damn, there goes my shot

Plus: What if 'House of Gucci' but wine?

Unfortunately we must consider Ted Cruz's ass
LockSimple

Sep 7, 2023

•

8 min read

Unfortunately we must consider Ted Cruz's ass

Plus: 'Annus horribilis' (not Ted Cruz's, another one)!

Up the drinks, up the workers

Sep 3, 2023

•

11 min read

Up the drinks, up the workers

Plus: Potemkin weed unions be flourishing!

Boardroom bums of the beverage business
LockSimple

Aug 31, 2023

•

10 min read

Boardroom bums of the beverage business

Plus: Pandora's 12-pack is wide open, nothing matters!

Fake outrage over not drinking enough
LockSimple

Aug 27, 2023

•

10 min read

Fake outrage over not drinking enough

Plus: White Claw's high-low limbo!

When Dark Brandon recommences the vig
LockSimple

Aug 23, 2023

•

6 min read

When Dark Brandon recommences the vig

Plus: Just another Tequiza sunset!

Empty calories, figuratively and literally
LockSimple

Aug 20, 2023

•

12 min read

Empty calories, figuratively and literally

Plus: Sounds like it’s almost time for your nap, Billy Busch!

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