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In lieu of The Fingers Weekender, today is a special edition—this year’s third installation of Buzzwords of The Week of The Quarter. But before we get to that, be sure to check out:
The most viral Fingers meme ever posted (by far);
This video essay about the secret of Spuds MacKenzie;
And that’s about it. As ever, if someone forwarded this to you, buy a subscription to get next Sunday’s edition straight in your inbox.
Last week, the Department of Justice et al. wrapped a big investigation into an alleged payola scheme involving middle-tier colossus Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits, finding that (emphasis added):
Several Southern Glazer’s executives based in California, including several Vice Presidents, were directly involved in the conduct, which included substantial cash payments, prepaid gift cards, flights, golf trips, resort stays, and luxury goods, along with participation in the falsification of documents.
“The Company cooperated fully with authorities throughout the investigation and accepts responsibility for the conduct and lapses acknowledged” in its non-prosecution agreement (NPA) with the feds, the mega-wholesaler stated in its own press release Thursday. Pursuant to that agreement, SGWS will pay Uncle Sam $12.5 million, which sounds like a lot of money if you don’t know anything about SGWS, and a rounding error if you do.
“I’m just glad that bribery was isolated to only this instance in the BevAlc space,” @dscarmana commented on Instagram. You and me both, buddy. Except… wait, are NPAs just… another name for bribes to the government? Much to think about.
Johnny Law’s presser on the SGWS settlement made for good eating, Buzzwords of The Week-wise. But was it the best example of dodgy diction on offer from the wild world o’ booze in 2026’s third quarter? That’s for you—yes, you, reader—to decide.
Buzzwords of The Week of Q1 2026 voting was crazy close.
Buzzwords of The Week of Q2 2026 voting was not.
Having already selected Buzzwords of The Week of The Quarter for Q1 and Q2, it’s now time to do likewise for Q3. (Yes, technically the quarter runs through the end of the month, but there was an opening in Fingers’ editorial schedule today, and besides, this is all made up anyway.) Recall, the quarterly losers winners will advance to compete against one another for top dishonors in the overall runoff for Fingers’ Buzzwords of The Week of The Year 2026. Waiting in the clubhouse for a shot at replacing 2025’s “a lot of concern about the whole immigration question” are:
From Q1 2026: “Operationalizing and double-clicking on the priorities”
From Q2 2026: "Not an adaptogen but a connectogen"
Turn thy attention to Q3’s most mealy-mouthéd, below. As you cast your votes, please take confidence in knowing that this election is totally secure. Bribes are totally illegal in Buzzwords of The Week of The Quarter competitions. Just like the booze industry, of course.
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🗳️ Cast your vote for The Buzzwords of The Week of Q3 2026
As a reminder, Buzzwords of The Week are now free to read each Friday, with or without a subscription. But only paying Friends of Fingers are eligible to cast their ballots for the entry they believe most deserving quarterly recognition/ridicule.
On a procedural note, because I can only include 10 options per poll, I culled a few entries from Q2, and stuck them into the cohort for Q3. Is this “fair”? No. Do I care? Also no.
🎤 Like reading Fingers, but in real life!
It’s been a big year for speaking engagements:
Minnesota Brewers Guild keynote speaker (April)Florida Brewers Guild keynote speaker (July)Virginia Brewers Conference panelist (September)
Ontario Brewers Guild keynote speaker (November)
I’ve got select availability left in 2026 for for speaking engagements, and will soon start scheduling 2027, too. If you’d like to hire me to present my award-winning reporting on the beverage-alcohol industry to your conference/retreat/team/etc., get in touch at [email protected] to discuss further!
🤦🏻♂️ Get reacquainted with all last quarter’s corniest corporatespeak
Get reacquainted with all the worst best baffling, bizarre, and byzantine booze-business blather from Q3 2026:
Again, Buzzwords of The Week are now free for all to read, and publish each Friday on the site. Read the archive here.
