- Fingers
- Posts
- "Neo-Hedonism" is just the beginning
"Neo-Hedonism" is just the beginning
Plus: With RNDC reeling, Jose Cuervo says "adios"!
Dave Infante
January 11, 2026
Sundays are normally reserved for The Fingers Weekender, but that’s on hiatus for January. Before or after today’s special edition, make sure to check out:
My scoop at Fingers on Proximo Spirits’ exit from RNDC;
My column at VinePair about Cutwater’s colossal 2025;
My analysis at VinePair on how the feds’ new dietary guidelines shook out for the trade;
And that’s about it. As ever, if someone forwarded this to you, buy a subscription to get next Sunday’s edition straight in your inbox.
The good news is that Fingers’ Buzzwords of The Week of The Year Award is run with a level of care and professionalism commensurate with its prestige. The bad news is it’s the opposite of prestigious. So in the spirit of speaking plainly, I’ll just come right out with it: I screwed up!
As you know, every edition of The Fingers Weekender includes Buzzwords of The Week: a brain-smoothing snatch of beverage-alcohol industry corporatespeak, translated into English by your fearless Fingers editor. I had big plans in 2025 to run quarterly run-offs of these entries, with you—yes, you—voting for the worst of all. Things went according to plan for the first quarter: I showcased all the Buzzwords of The Week from the first three months of the year, you voted on them, “Neo-Hedonism” won in a cakewalk. Boom: Fingers’ 2025 Buzzwords of The Week of Q1 was crowned! Then I simply… didn’t do any of that for Q2, Q3, or Q4. Ah.
What happened? Well, not to get all “my biggest weakness is I work too hard and care too much” on you, but that’s basically it. There was a lot of news last year, and this fell by the wayside. So we’ve got a lot of ground to make up. Below, you’ll find every Buzzword of The Week entry of 2025 organized quarterly, with a brief translation and a link to the Weekender edition in which the full entry originally appeared. Directly below each quarter’s Buzzwords, there’s a corresponding poll. Your mission: take a scroll down memory lane, then cast your vote for the most wooden, evasive, meaningless, or otherwise obnoxious one from each quarter. Once we’ve selected quarterly winners for Q2-4, we’ll have four-way runoff to name 2025’s overall Buzzword of The Week of The Year!
The quarterly recaps below are free to browse, but you’ll need to be a paying subscriber read the full entries, see the polls, and vote. Join ~700 Friends of Fingers on the other side of the paywall now:
This email is pretty big, so if it winds up getting cut off in your inbox, you can always read it on the site. Anyway! Without further ado, allow me to (re)introduce the Buzzwords of The Week from the past three quarters.
💬 BUZZWORDS OF THE WEEK OF Q4
Buzzword | Translation | Edition |
|---|---|---|
damp-drinking–forward menu | We have mocktails | Jim Beam is already on glut watch for 2026 (12/21/25) |
Our ad will blend human creativity and dance moves with modern technology | A nearly inscrutable seven-step social-media sweepstakes process in which random people will “teach” Svedka Grl their favorite choreography | Hustling Tetra Pak’d poop juice for half a billion dollars (12/7/25) |
mutually agreed there wasn’t the right role for her given her experience and skills | She [Molson Coors’ Michelle St. Jacques] gone | Trump take America’s brewing future (11/23/25) |
Virtual Holiday Press Junket | A Zoom call where publicists can talk at you | Costco's bottle-popping problem got a lot worse (11/16/25) |
a number of strategic decisions to ensure our enterprise structure, resources, investments, focus, and priorities are set to optimize the performance of our business going forward | Layoffs at Constellation Brands | Molson Coors is nursing a pricey hangover from the bourbon boom (11/9/25) |
transforming grain, water, fire, and wood into unexpected, elevated expressions | The process of distilling | Anheuser-Busch could use another TikTok psyop (11/2/25) |
To win with our customers and consumers and return to growth, we must move with urgency and make bolder decisions | Layoffs at Molson Coors | Napa's big embezzlement suit, now with 100% more arrest warrants (10/26/25) |
From taste tests to lifestyle content, the brand's identity has created a groundswell of authentic word-of-mouth momentum | Our marketing is working | Calling a (shallower) bottom on liquor's sales slide (10/19/25) |
a spot built on utility, taste, and style […] where the crowd is as good as the menu | The worst bar you can possibly imagine, as described by a publicist using AI | So... Svedka sexbot Super Bowl smut spot? (10/12/25) |
designed to elevate without compromise | A THC drink that gets you high and tastes not-ass | Hot new trendlet in NA beer (I guess?) (10/5/25) |
Remember, the above are just abridged versions of each BoTW entry. If you’d like to review full entries before casting your vote, click on the corresponding edition link in the righthand column. And now, time to vote!
💬 BUZZWORDS OF THE WEEK OF Q3
Buzzword | Translation | Edition |
|---|---|---|
taking the social allure of communal competition and reshaping that spontaneous competitiveness for football season | An NFL promotional tie-in without NFL name rights | The national thirst for adequate vodka (9/28/25) |
reimagined speakeasy | The worst bar you can possibly imagined, described by a publicist not using AI | Zoomer-splaining wine to a roomful of GALLO execs (9/21/25) |
use[s] superior data to exploit information asymmetries in traditionally opaque markets | Helps you sell high-end wine for more money with da computer | If you're the "most discretionary," you're the most recessionary (9/14/25) |
US Modern Oral | Zyn (et al), as described by a Wall Street analyst | Joe Six-Pack just got laid off (9/7/25) |
design-conscious givers | Suckers who choose gift bottles based on the label art | The MAGA-bstinence trend is gaining momentum (8/17/25) |
progressive adult beverages (PAB) | Flavored alcoholic beverages, as described by a Nielsen analyst | Diageo is Casamigo-ing through it (8/10/25) |
We’re a patriotic American beer brand for people who don’t want a lecture in their lager. | A suds-for-chuds pander brand with a website | Uncle Nearest's bank wants its $100M back (8/3/25) |
a passionate entrepreneur who believed in the power of American-made brands and products, and the power of bringing communities across America together | Enemy of the free press, noted scab, and suds-for-chuds pander-brand founder Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea | Call that the RTDuality (7/27/25) |
discuss […] what the title means to him | Recite talking points a brand’s fake “Chief Martini Officer” job | George Clooney, tequila RICO chico?! (7/13/25) |
Man, feels like way longer than six months ago that Bollea died, huh? Time flies. Anyway, go ahead and cast your ballot!
💬 BUZZWORDS OF THE WEEK OF Q2
Buzzword | Translation | Edition |
|---|---|---|
the only beverage that makes “as good as sex” a reality in everyday life | An energy drink called LAID™️ with god knows what in it | Make more cartoonishly oversized drinks! Nothing matters! (6/29/25) |
raising the bar on generosity and good times | Doing charity, as described by a bev-alc brand | Some real green shoots (vine joke!) (6/22/25) |
a lot of concern about the whole immigration question | The sheer terror of state violence keeping Modelo’s core demographic away from the beer aisle | Tilray Brands is Going Through It(TM) (6/15/25) |
reigniting our purpose-driven culture | Trying to turn this business [RNDC] around | Bourbon country is awash in distillery construction debt (6/8/25) |
Strategic distribution decisions like this one signal more than just logistics—they reflect brand intent | ABI’s shifts of Cutwater and NÜTRL to Southern Glazer’s, as described by a LinkedIn commenter (?) using AI | The ol’ craft brew switcheroo (6/1/25) |
This quarter was a little light on Weekender editions because I had some travel and some special reports mixed in. Nevertheless, vote you must!
Reply